SPECIALTY
Relationships, Boundaries, & Intimacy
You care deeply about others. You’re just not sure how to care about yourself at the same time.
You feel torn — what you want and what they want seem to be pulling you in opposite directions. You love them. You also have needs of your own. Keeping everyone happy is full-time job, and sometimes you spiral: wondering if you’re being unreasonable, whether what you want even matters enough to voice.
The idea of someone being disappointed or upset with you can stop you cold. And still, despite all of that, you want real connection, like so many of us do — the kind that doesn’t feel distant or forced. It’s just that the guilt of choosing yourself is loud, and it’s heavy.
You may recognize some of the following:
Difficulty saying no — or following through once you have
Guilt that shows up whenever you do something just for you
Trouble asking for support or being known
Anxiety that surfaces in your closest relationships
Feeling detached from your body, sexuality, or desire
Wanting relationships — and intimacy — that feel both real and secure, however that looks for you
These sometimes-frustrating habits make sense. They’ve served you at some point, even if they’re not necessary for your safety today.
Relationships have a way of revealing our most ingrained responses — avoiding conflict, getting defensive when hurt, or shutting down entirely. Over time, that can leave you feeling unseen, misunderstood, or responsible for other people’s feelings. Communication may feel hard, in the bedroom and outside it.
These responses don’t just shape your relationships with others — they shape your relationship with yourself, including your sexuality and desire. All that shape-shifting makes it hard to know what you actually want, or to trust that it matters. Many of the clients I work with learned early that love and security came with conditions — that closeness and safety had to earned by being agreeable, useful, or easy to be around.
Healthy relationships don’t require constant self-sacrifice or erasure of self. They’re built on respect, honesty, and staying connected to yourself while you connect with someone else. There should be space for you in your relationships — and therapy can help you build that.
THE WORK
What We Do in Sessions
We start by exploring these patterns and where they came from — in past relationships and present ones — alongside what you actually want going forward. We take time to understand what’s keeping that future out of reach: fear, guilt, a sense of responsibility, a lack of permission, or something else entirely. Then we find small, concrete steps toward the life you’re describing.
Some of our work focuses on rebuilding self-trust, so you feel steadier experimenting with doing things differently. We use tools like mindfulness and EMDR where useful, and we talk through what healthy boundaries look like for you — not a generic version borrowed from somewhere else. Not everyone’s boundaries are the same.
You’ll have room in session to try out different ways of communicating and showing up, before you try them elsewhere. You don’t have to start with the hardest conversation first. The goal isn’t just better communication — it’s staying connected to yourself while you build relationships that are reciprocal.
Many of my clients haven’t had many real-life examples of what a healthy relationship looks like, and they’ve been figuring it out alone to the best of their ability. That’s a hard thing to do solo. Even if you can’t picture what you’re hoping for yet, we can fill things in together.
What Getting Better Looks Like
Saying no without the crushing guilt. More clarity about, and more trust in what you actually want. Relationships that feel closer rather than draining. Sex and intimacy where you can stay present and advocate for your desires, whatever they may be.
Relationships will always have friction; that’s part of the deal. But the friction can feel manageable instead of threatening. You can have the closeness you’re looking for.