SPECIALTY
Self-Worth, Identity, & Authenticity
You’ve done what was expected of you. It still doesn’t feel like enough.
You had a long day. You showed up in the ways you were supposed to. You finished that thing, and for a second you think you might actually get to rest. But then the phone rings, and you can’t. You’re on to the next thing. And the next, and the next.
Other people would say you’re doing well. They lean on you. They trust you. By a lot of measures, you’ve done better than the people who raised you.
And still — you feel anxious, or disconnected from your own life. When you try to make a decision, you second-guess it before it’s even made. You’re not always sure you can trust yourself. Sometimes you wonder if you’re enough.
It’s hard to feel content when the standards aren’t ones you chose. You didn’t set out to end up here. But spending your life meeting everyone else’s expectations can cost you your relationship with yourself.
You may recognize some of the following:
Struggling to feel much of anything about your own accomplishments
Feeling disconnected from your wants, needs, or values
Wondering who you are outside of what you do for other people
Realizing, after a relationship ends, that it hadn’t felt good for a long time
Answering “I don’t know” when someone asks what you think or want
Wanting a life that actually feels like yours
That makes sense. You’ve absorbed messages your whole life — from family, culture, community, social media, the people who raised you — about who you’re supposed to be. When those messages align, you feel affirmed. When they don’t, you have to choose a direction, and what everyone else expects can end up louder than your own voice. Over time, you can find yourself living inside a groove that someone else carved.
Many of the people I work with have spent years becoming who they thought they had to be — successful enough, agreeable enough, selfless enough, palatable enough. What they often find is exhaustion: running toward a goal post that keeps moving, with acceptance no closer than it was before.
You deserve to feel like enough. You get to define who you are — and therapy can help with that.
THE WORK
What We Do in Sessions
We start by understanding how you got here — the strengths that got you through, and what it’s cost you. We explore what you value: community, balance, fairness, or curiosity, whatever it is for you.
Sometimes those values are hard to name at first, because nobody’s really asked. If that’s true for you, part of the work is finding the language.
We help you get reacquainted with the parts of you that got set aside to fit in or earn approval. A desire for belonging is wired into all of us — it’s part of why the inner critic chimes in, guarding against disconnection, discrimination, or mistreatment. We work with that part directly, aiming for compassion over combat. There’s room here for hurt, anger, disagreement, grief, or anything else that surfaces. Authenticity isn’t tidy, and none of you needs to sit outside the room.
You’ll have space to practice choosing based on what genuinely matters to you, rather than what’s expected. That will probably come with some hesitation — but fear isn’t proof you’re doing something wrong. It usually just means you’re doing something new. Each attempt builds trust in your own judgment and resiliency. Where old experiences make that especially hard, we can use approaches like EMDR to loosen the stuck places.
This isn’t about overnight transformation, or needing to love every part of yourself. It’s about your relationships, your sexuality, and your daily choices reflecting who you are — not just who you learned to be.
What Getting Better Looks Like
More clarity when making decisions. Days that feel more aligned with what you actually value. Being kinder or gentler with yourself. Less fear standing between you and the things you want.
Knowing who you are doesn’t make life perfect, but it does make it simpler. You can have more ease.